PREMARITAL SEX: THE ORDER OF THE DAY. By Tobe Eze

PREMARITAL SEX: THE ORDER OF THE DAY.

INTRODUCTION.

Sex is keeping to the original plan of God, it is intrinsically not an evil act. It was willed by God that a man and his wife should procreate and share conjugal companionship through the act of sex. With the advent of sin in the history of humanity, and in this age more than any other, the abuses on the act of sex call for a redefinition of sex to secure the purpose for which it was originally created. There is plethora of ways in which sex has been abused. This includes, adultery, fornication, bestiality, pedophilia and lots of them. This article, however, shall focus on the issue of premarital sex and its moral, social and health implications. It is only the way, the time, the place and the persons involve that make it sin, not sex itself. Everything we do on this earth has its own time. Even the Bible recorded it. There is time for everything……, (Eclesiastes 3). And sex is not an exception. Continue Reading.........................................

WHAT IS SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?

Sexual intercourse is now understood by people from different views, but before looking on the different views, let us get the dictionary meaning and understanding. It is the contact between individuals, especially the insertion of male reproductive organ into the female reproductive organ. This is gotten in from where it is involved male and female for some are doing having sexual intercourse with same sex, animals and so on. Merriam Webster Dictionary says, “it is the sexual activity between two people especially: sexual activity in which a man puts his penis into the vagina of a woman”. There are two major division of sex according to the status of human being. Premarital and extramarital sex, the first is done before marriage while the latter is done after marriage but not with the husband. This may be called in another way “adultery”.  Our concern here is more on the premarital sex.

The Catholic Church sees sex as a thing reserved for a valid marriage between husband and wife. “Sexual intercourse is our most intimate way of expressing to one another our faithful love-a love which is both unitive and life-giving” (Love, sex and the Catholic Church. By Thomas and Donna Finn Pg. 25). It is the consummation of love in a marriage. Our new era sees sexual intercourse as a way of exploring our God given gift of sexuality no matter the state of life we are and the person involved. People no longer see sex outside marriage as a sin rather as a way of live which anyone who is not in the game is naïve and is not worthy to exist in this era. If you as questions, people will boldly tell you in the defense of premarital sex that one has exercise oneself for body no be firewood. At least one has to change oil from time to time. Some learned will tell you that we should blame God for putting the urge in us before marriage. In defense of extramarital sex, they will tell you that one has to taste different soups and many other things they say in defense. In all these, anything premarital sex or extramarital sex, it is a sin which counters the fifth commandment of God, therefore, it is a mortal sin no matter our argument.

PREMARITAL SEX.

Looking at the main topic of discussion, it seems to be the highest form of sexual activity committed in the world today. Many young girls are now using their bodies as commodities. Premarital sex is sexual activity practiced by people before they are married. Historically, premarital sex was considered a moral issue which was taboo in many cultures and considered a sin by a number of religions, but since about the 1960s, it has become more widely accepted especially in the Western countries. Legal online English dictionary defines premarital sex as, sexual intercourse between a man and a woman who are not married to each other. Premarital sex is like what the Igbos say, “Okoro erughi eru wara ọgọdọ, ikuku bịa, eburu ya ma buru kwa ọgọdọ” (a lad wearing the big cloth of his father, when the wind comes, it will carry him and the big cloth). Many young persons who are not married in our world today have formed it as a habit or routine of having sex at interval. The end product of love in our world today is sex. This is why in some places today, some boys have tasted every girl around them in that locality and equally some girls have also tasted every man that has greeted her on the road.

DISADVANTAGES OF PREMARITAL SEX.

Morally and religiously, premarital sex has no advantage. Standing on this ground, I will highlight some of the damages this act of premarital sex has caused and will continue to cause if we do not correct it. They are many of them but I will limit myself to three major divisions.

1.      Physical consequences: There are many damages caused by premarital sex which is predominant in our world today. Some of them are, Sexually transmitted diseases. Many deadly diseases many suffer these days are gotten from sex and they are very dangerous to the society. Some of these disease are, chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, AIDS and many others. They are majorly communicable. Pregnancy: Abortion rate increases on the daily basis from the youth because of this premarital sex. Many pregnancies are termed unwanted because they are gotten from this premarital sex and it kills the dream of the person that is carrying it and probably the person that is responsible. One may also get infected by any of the contraceptives people use for protection during sex. Many lives have been lost through abortion and many others.

2.      Psychological Consequences: The guilt of doing it if the conscience is still there do not leave one easily. Many have been disappointed through that and it caused trauma for them which has been very difficult to heal. This aged long problem of betrayal manifests itself very much when a problem is encountered between two unmarried persons engaging in premarital sex and it leads sometimes to even death.

3.      Social Consequences: The tendency of marrying a wrong person is very much high through premarital sex as some places do force the man responsible to marry the person he has impregnated. Again, we all know that habit is the hardest thing to stop when formed. When you have formed the habit of having sex as a youth with many persons, even when you finally get married, one man or one woman will not be enough for you. When your wife or husband is not in the mood, you will go out looking for alternative. Who is always in the mood. When you have eaten something preserved for a particular time before that time, when the time reaches, it will never be of any value to you. That time, you will start to compare between your wife or husband with the other person(s) you have been doing it with. You will start to say, “The other person(s) satisfy (satisfies) me more than my husband or wife.

These and many others are the negative results gotten from premarital sex and they have destroyed many homes and families, both nuclear and extended.

NECESSARY SOLUTIONS.

Many places in the Bible, it has been suggested for us to avoid the sin of fornication and adultery, they are mortal sin that leads to hell fire direct. It is not that this is an exclusive list of solutions to the problem of premarital sex but just a few offered to help ourselves in this write up. We can help ourselves by doing the following:

Know the type of person you keep: “Tell me your friend and I will tell you whom you are”. Friends influence us much. Keeping a boy or a girl who is a sex addict and pretending that you will be free is a lie. For you will just pretend for a while and succumb to his/her needs and give him/her what he/she wants. The problem may not necessarily be in the first one but once started, to stop it will be very difficult.

Be Focused: “He who fails to plan, plans to fail”, is an old adage that continues to teach even in the contemporary time. We have to have a target in life. If we have focus then we will be able to examine our lives. Nature abhors vacuum, when we are empty of what live means for us, then life will give us what we may not at the end like. We should try and make effort to know positive things we want in life and go for them and not giving the devil a footstool.

Prayer: In everything we do in life, we should always seek the face of God and he will help us. Sexuality is natural phenomenon in human being which needs our efforts and God’s grace to control. As we make effort to sun premarital sex, prayer is always necessary for cut off from him, we can do nothing (John 15:5).

CONCLUSION.

That everyone is doing it does not mean that it is now write for us to do it for this is one of the arguments some present to support themselves in the act of having premarital sex. Archbishop Futon J Sheen in one of his television talks said, “The percentage of people in support of evil can never change it to become good and the percentage of people against the truth can never make it wrong”. No matter how people twist and interpret the act of premarital sex, it will not make it right. Sex has advantage when it is done in the proper time, with proper person, for consummation of marriage and for procreation purpose. When sex is been done for the purpose of increasing and multiplying as God directed, it yields positive results. (Genesis 9:7 or Genesis 1:28) and there is no cause for alarm but done with a wrong person, in a wrong place and at the wrong time, it will be counterproductive. As the Holy Bible tells us that there is time for everything, let us respect that and wait for the God ordained time for sex and we will be happy forever. It will pay us more at the appointed time than doing it when not necessary. Many broken families are the product of premarital and extramarital sex, we can still correct it and things will be well with us and our world will be sound in high standard of morality.