TO YOU MY DREAREST By Tobe Eze

  TO  YOU MY DREAREST

My dearest one, I wish to tell you something but I would like to tell you a short story before that. This story will help me a little to clear the ground for what I wish to tell you.

In a certain autonomous community, the King died. After the burial and funeral, another king was needed. Two persons indicated interest, the first was well known personality in the community and the other was known but not like the first. Anywhere the first passed, people hailed him as the Igwe elect. He was already carrying himself as one. He needed no campaign again for his personality was enough campaign. The second person was struggling to make himself known and he was meeting known men and women in the community. He met the youths and even children. Continue Reading....................

He campaigned very well for the kingship. On the day of the election, many went just for formality sake for the whole community was already pointing the first person as the Igwe of the community. The time for the voting reached and people started voting. The two persons were asked to face the wall and their supporters should stand at their backs. The line of the known person was very short while the line of the second person was very long and that made him the Igwe of the community. When they were asked to turn and watch the result, the first man fainted for he was shocked for he could not believe what he saw. He had high hopes on the people and was disappointed.

My dearest friend, what I want to tell you now from the story above is that, if you build high hopes on human beings, you will certainly be disappointed one day. This issue of building high hopes or placing ourselves above every other person is one of the reasons we have many depressed people and even suicide cases. We often think that we have reached a level in life that the world should know that we are existing and to know that we are of value and to our greatest surprise, the world does not know that we exist.

If in a relationship you think that you must be valued above all else, you will be disappointed one day. If you think you are always the one doing the other good and the person should always be a slave to you, trouble is already knocking, for life needs mutual understanding. If you think that without you, the other cannot be happy, far from that, happiness has been in existence before meeting you. Once you feel that every attention must be on you and nothing more, you will find it very difficult to understand the other and that will form a fertile ground for the collapse of the relationship. Many things face this life and attention should be divided among them according to their importance.

In a community, if you feel that without you the community cannot progress, that is when you will get the highest shock of your life because the progress will even come from your enemy (enemies). If you think that you are now too important in the community that you should always be recognised and treated differently from others, expect the shock that awaits you.

If in the pastoral field you think that you should always be recognised and even consulted before giving you any assignment, that is where your depression will start. If you feel that you have overgrown a certain place in pastoral work or that you have contributed more than any other person or that you are too important more than others, your trouble has already started. You will always see an assignment that didn’t fall as you wanted, as neglect on your personality and hatred by the authority and the death of your happiness starts from there. Always complaining about the assignment given to you because you expected high places and ended up not getting that. Your joy for the work and of the work is already gone.

High hopes should only be expected when we are fully in charge of the situation and not when others are in charge or even when God is in charge. As a student, you start in time to prepare earnestly for your exams, have high hopes that you will pass very well, but remember to involve God. As a business person who puts in the best in the business, have high hopes but also remember to put God first. As a workman or workwoman who works tirelessly for the progress of the work, have high hopes but also remember that God should be your foundation.

But as an office worker who works very hard for promotion, have hope in it but not high hope for anything can happen. God first.

But as a pastoral agent who works for God and his people, who puts in all you have for the good of the people of God and you are expecting compasation, have hope but not high hope to avoid high blood pressure. God is watching and rewarding.

As a husband or as a wife who does everything within your reach for things to work as you plan, have hope but not high hope for life is not balanced. On God always.

As community leader or church leader who does not sleep to make sure that the community or the church is in order. You sacrifice your private time to see that nothing lacks and you are expecting recognition from the people you are working for and with, have hope but not high hope. Frustration and suicide are real. God is the only solution.

Lastly, when you have seen that things are no longer working as you expected and they are beyond your control, remember what a great theologian said in his book “Be Human Be Holy” C P Varkey, “Change what you can change and accept what you cannot change.” If we can see life from this point, we will reduce our troubles small. High hopes, high value, high attention, high recognition, high everything can kill us if we do not get them. Let us always expect the best and also bear in mind that the worst can come out. Thanks Dearest one. I Love You.