STILL SHAKING THE TABLE PART 3. By Tobe Eze

 STILL SHAKING THE TABLE PART 3

This girl stole the table and ran into a saloon thinking that I will not see the table again. I went into the shop and stayed inside there to break the table. Five persons who were the shop were listening to me. What I saw there reminded me of an experience I had some years ago.

I attended a wedding mass of my secondary school classmate. The mass was scheduled to begin by 11am and I did not know, I went there earlier thinking it was 10am mass.  Continue Reading................

They were four couples that wedded that day. As I was going round the church waiting for the time, the brides and grooms started arriving. I wanted to go and greet that my classmate before the mass. I went to the place where the brides were and I could not see the Celine that I knew. I asked a lady there, “biko, Celine ọbịa go?” The girl knew me, so she smiled and asked me if I was blind. She pointed at Celine standing at my back and told me to meet her. Chineke nna, I could not recognise my own classmate. If you see the kind of foundation and screeding they did on her face. She was looking like some of these cartoons they normally draw on lighters. I called the name to confirm before embarracing myself. She shouted, “Tobe Eze, you came, I am so glad.” I could not hide it and I asked her, what was her problem. I am now asking girls, what is your problem? Are you coming to your own wedding to seduce another man or to shock your husband? Did her meet you with that heavy makeup? Why not do simple makeup that will bring out your beauty than doing that type of screeding on your face. After that, they will be running away from Sun and rain as well. Sun will melt it and rain will wash it away.

As I was chatting with my phone and thinking on what to do with the table, a girl came in to fix eyelashes, nails and so on. She told the owner of the saloon that she needed to look good in order to get these boys that will attend one birthday party that she will attend. So, you want to deceive ụmụ Adam with makeup abi? You want to confuse ụmụ Abraham by changing your colour, nails, eyelashes and others. And probably when she reached home, she finished up the padding. Biko, ụmụ nwoke know the real ones and fake ones. They will take you for the night and look for a real person for life. We are not going to marry makeup, na you and your behaviour we go marry. You will be good for the night but not for the house. Think well ooooo. Some of you are very beautiful naturally, adding too much of the so called makeup spoils your beauty. Anyị mara Ihe dị iche. I am not saying you should not makeup, but moderate it. Look good, bath very well. Wear neat clothes and dress very sharp and decent. If you leave yourself in the state of nature, we no go come oooo. Do not be mgbeke, the era of mgbeke has passed. Look good and we go show.

As I was breaking the table, one of them got a Monday hammer for me oooo. She said that what pains her most is the amount of money they spend to do all those thing and these wicked boys will still have the mind and gut to break their hearts. She told her experience of a guy she was crushing on. She did everything possible to get the boy and finally she got him but the worst happened. She did not have the money to continue the packaging and the guy just used her and dumped her. Who used the other? Topic of another day.

Bikonu, ụmụ Eve, think on how you can use the huge amount of money you spend on these to change your lives, it attracts men more than makeup. If you are always looking good under the cover of makeup and always begging for data and airtime, odikwa ka inwere problem. If you always look sharp with heavy makeup and with hungry account balance, you have to sell your makeup kit and buy sense. If you are always sexy and you know every stingy man around the area, there is trouble, because it shows you are a chronic beggar. If make takes all your earnings, and go about begging or looking for food or who will take you out and in, you have to go down in prayers. Have self worth, respect, dignity, trust, confidence, finance etc and with moderate makeup and serious men will locate you. You are worth more than a night if you sit down and think. You are worth a home and not a hotel room. You are worth a life and not data and airtime. You are worth a shop or handwork and not urgent 2k. You are worth a partner and not a sex dull. Do not wear masquerade in the name of makeup so that we will not run away from you. Anyị mara Ihe dị iche. After making up, you will look like a map of a country in the East of Africa, na kwa echeku.

Let me save parts of the table for another day. Ụmụ Adam, please do not hide the table ooooooo, I am coming for you again.

Happy Weekend.